It has come to that time of year again were we turn our clocks forward an hour, it has occurred to me recently that it just does not make sense as to why we here in England are the only ones (that I know of) are the ones that have to turn our clocks backwards and forwards, how does this work when the rest of the world does not have to do this?, why is it just our times that have to change?, why bother or if we have to bother why does the rest of the world not follow?, I mean it does not fit in with the whole time and space thing, who ever created time changing in England must have been on something. I just can not work out why this happens.
It does get on my nerves because when we go to bed tonight we are loosing an hours sleep basically. At the start of "summer" we put our clocks forward so that it is darker in the morning and lighter at night, at the end of summer we put the clocks back so its lighter in the morning and darker at night, why not just leave it so its darker in the morning and Lighter at night all the time or vise versa? why change it to fit the seasons and our moods? this is what it feels like to me as everyone hates winter, so basically they are saying that we are depressed with winter any way why not make it worse for us and make it dark earlier then give them brighter longer days in the summer, JUST WHY BOTHER?!!!!
Its like researching the universe and beyond our ozone layer, yes it would be interesting to know if there are other life forms out there that are like us but why waste money we have not got doing it? why put in billions and billions of pounds to find something out when we will never ever be able to visit or intereact with these life forms any way. There is so much going on on the planet that we live on, why not use that money to fix all the problems here rather than focasing on an unrealistic dream of finding other life forms on other planets that are millions and millions of lightyears away. Lets be honest here, it is a waste of resorces looking in to this even if it is interesting it is a waste. I love the stars and the universe just as much as the next person, I love to know the new things they find and things like that, thats fine, there is still so much to learn about our own universe and yet these idiots with more money than chuffing sense are constantly blowing fortunes on something they will never be able to figure out :-(
If these people do want to throw their money away then throw it in our direction, throw it towards the people that live day by day on pennys, this world that we live on is falling apart at the seams and these idiots looking through giat telescopes don't seem to care about the people on Earth, I think they need a reality check to see whats going on around them closer to home rather than whats going on around them millions and millions of lightyears away.
If these people actually threw their money towards us poor people then maybe just maybe we might be able to afford to surrvive in this world, with everything risin faster than the oceans levels its getting harder for people to be able to afford so much as perscriptions and dentle treatment, its no wonder britain is commonly known for everyone having bad teeth, we cant afford the bleeding treatment that is why! I know from personal experiance I have really really bad teeth, I could never afford to have them done privately, I need mine done on the NHS just so I can have a lovely smile. If we all had more money brought to us then taxes wouldn't rise, the NHS wouldnt be struggling, food and petrol cost would not be rediculasly expensive, hell even buying clothes brand new these days is stupid. I really strongly believe that the people of this world who actually have money to throw away should start helping their own planet out before looking in to other planets! I personally do not care if there is another earth out there some were, I care about the earth that we bloody well live on! its as simple as that really.
Any way I have a party to go to so I shall bid you all farewell for now and I may come back with more ranting later if your lucky :-P
Saturday, 30 March 2013
Friday, 29 March 2013
New Beginnings,
Last night I waffled on about a lot of troubles that I have had dealt to me, I know I waffle a lot on here but I feel it is the only place I can be free to say as I please, without making people cross with me.
I do have good story's to tell too, my sister-in-law and I get on a lot better these days, she has been a wonderful help to me with the boys and I really don't know how I would have managed without her, I feel extremely lucky to have all my in-laws around as they are fabulous people and are really good with me.
Baby Harry at 5 months old ^^^^^^^^^^^^
This is my second beautiful little man, Harry, he is a lovely happy little baby and so podgy, he is such a cutie and he absolutely loves his big brother Charlie, Charlie can have Harry laughing his little head off like no other, it is really a very proud moment for me to sit there and watch my 2 beautiful boys laughing together and Charlie giving Harry lots of kisses and cuddles, Charlie loves to have baby Harry cuddles on the sofa.
Charlie and Baby harry having snuggles on the sofa ^^^^^^^
I have a lot to be thankful for, I know this, but one thing I cant forgive or forget is the fact that my own useless and pathetic excuse for a dad has not even met Baby Harry, he has been over to Keighley many times and stayed at my sisters house but not drove the 2 minutes up the road to come meet his second Grandson. It breaks my heart that me and my boys mean next to nothing where my family are concerned, just because my sister is having twin boys does not mean that my boys are any less important (so I thought) but ho hum what can I do, I think they are better off away from any thing and anyone that can hurt them yet I feel they would blame me in later life if I kept them from having my side of the family, its a no win situation.
Any way I need sleep so I am going to get of for now and hopefully get a good nights sleep :D night night.xx
I do have good story's to tell too, my sister-in-law and I get on a lot better these days, she has been a wonderful help to me with the boys and I really don't know how I would have managed without her, I feel extremely lucky to have all my in-laws around as they are fabulous people and are really good with me.
This is my second beautiful little man, Harry, he is a lovely happy little baby and so podgy, he is such a cutie and he absolutely loves his big brother Charlie, Charlie can have Harry laughing his little head off like no other, it is really a very proud moment for me to sit there and watch my 2 beautiful boys laughing together and Charlie giving Harry lots of kisses and cuddles, Charlie loves to have baby Harry cuddles on the sofa.
I have a lot to be thankful for, I know this, but one thing I cant forgive or forget is the fact that my own useless and pathetic excuse for a dad has not even met Baby Harry, he has been over to Keighley many times and stayed at my sisters house but not drove the 2 minutes up the road to come meet his second Grandson. It breaks my heart that me and my boys mean next to nothing where my family are concerned, just because my sister is having twin boys does not mean that my boys are any less important (so I thought) but ho hum what can I do, I think they are better off away from any thing and anyone that can hurt them yet I feel they would blame me in later life if I kept them from having my side of the family, its a no win situation.
Any way I need sleep so I am going to get of for now and hopefully get a good nights sleep :D night night.xx
Thursday, 28 March 2013
Were to start.....
I am very much aware that it has been like a year since I last posted, not that it matters as I don't think anyone even checks my blog anyway :S think I'm more using it as a diary than anything else as no one I know actually follows it.
Any way, since the last time, as you know I moved in to my new house and I was pregnant, well that was last year, I now have another beautiful bouncing baby boy, Harry, thankfully he has not had any health issues like Charlie did, he is such a happy little man, born October the 12th 2012 at half past 11pm weighing 8lb 7oz, he was delivered with the aid of forceps, I had no drugs in my system by the time he was coming, the midwife didn't have time to give me the epidural I wanted so I had to make do.
Charlie is wonderful, he is 2 years old now, I am applying for him to start nursery as he needs to socialize with other children his own age, he is a wonderful big brother, we have only had a couple of incidents with Charlie hurting Harry, nothing major just Charlie not been careful enough.
I don't know if I have ever pointed out in previous posts but it has come to my attention and it is something I care to share, I met Joel on Friday 19th June 2009, I had Charlie on Friday 3rd September 2010 and Harry came on Friday 12th October 2012. I now call my boys my 3 Fridays. I find it very bizarre that Friday seems to be my lucky day, especially when I think about the fact that Charlie was 8 days late and Harry 3 days early, it feels like fate had this one dealt for me.
Joel and I are planning to get married 10th of June 2015, we naturally picked this date as we wanted to mark the day as our lucky day, so the 10th of June 2015 is....... you guessed it........ a Friday. I can not wait to finally marry Joel though I am a little apprehensive at becoming "Mrs Grainger".
I have had more downs than I have had ups these last few weeks, it all started when I found out (not for the first time) that my own sister had been saying things about me and my boys behind my back, I am so sick of people talking behind my back, I mean get real, if you have a problem with me then tell me, don't spread crap because that just makes you a 2 faced back stabber!! Anyway she had told someone that I do not bath my boys, as when she puts them in the bath they scream and create, it might not seem bad to a lot of you but that to me was down right horrible, not to mention a lie, naturally this someone informed me that this had been said, so I confronted my sister, a massive blazing row occurred over the whole event and I ended up saying some things that probably shouldn't have been said, I am not going in to what I said to her as I said it in the heat of an argument, know that what I said was rather harsh but not as harsh as what she did to me, you see my logic is this, Shelley went spreading lies to other people behind my back, now if this person that told me had phoned social services instead of saying something to me then I would have been monitored by the social workers, I have nothing to hide so that wouldn't bother me, what bothers me is that my own sister could have been the cause and personally there is no going back from that, even though I should not have said false accusations to my sister, I take comfort in the fact that I said them to HER not other people, the problem is, she took it COMPLETELY the wrong way (as blonds do) and twisted it to make me out to be a right evil bitch, I know for FACT that she was telling people that I had said this Extremely horrible thing that I would never ever ever say and going on about all the things I had said (even things I hadn't said which she had pulled out of thin air) but not once did she tell any of them what she had done to me.
I had her best friend send me emails bitching and having a go at me when she only had one side of the story, she was not interested in anything I said, she just wanted to insult me despite that what she thought was true wasn't! My mum, bless her, stayed neutral through the whole thing, she never took sides, she kind of did make it about her self by telling us that we are depressing her further by not talking to one and other but I was not going to say sorry for Shelley spreading untrue stories and lies and twisting things to make her sound the victim in the whole incident, I am not even going to sit here and let people think I am a victim, yes I was wronged but I also was in the wrong by saying certain things that shouldn't have been said, even if they are true its not my place to interfere, the fact that Shelley took things completely the wrong way by what I said is not my fault, I tried really hard to explain to her that what she THOUGHT I said was not what I said and I certainly did not intend on her taking things that way but I gave her the shot gun didn't I, because she took what I said the wrong way she had everyone eating out the palms of her hands!
This incident made Shelley delete me as a friend on Facebook, she declined my wedding invite, my Ann Summers invite and Joel's 30th birthday invite, she also removed Joel as a friend on Facebook too!
Because she had done this to me, I told her to plan her own baby shower, why in gods green earth should I do something for someone like that, I mean I was giving up my home, I would have been left with all the cleaning, the planning, the shopping and the decorating why should I, so in return she cancelled the shower as I had created it originally and could not be removed and she recreated it without inviting me. (By the way Shelley is pregnant with twin boys)
Eventually, slowly, we started talking again, both avoiding talking about the fall out, but still I got no invite to the baby shower, I don't know if I can trust her any more, as I stated earlier this one was not the first time she had spread crap behind my back, I may not be a perfect mum but I am a bloody good one, I do everything I can for my boys and more, I could not do any better if I tried.
Oh bloody hell, as usual when I get on here time flies away with me its going on 5am so I best be off to bed. will finish of my story telling tomorrow evening, not that it matters as I said in the beginning, its not like I have people sat there biting their nails waiting to see what I write. LOL.
Night Night Bloggers.x
Any way, since the last time, as you know I moved in to my new house and I was pregnant, well that was last year, I now have another beautiful bouncing baby boy, Harry, thankfully he has not had any health issues like Charlie did, he is such a happy little man, born October the 12th 2012 at half past 11pm weighing 8lb 7oz, he was delivered with the aid of forceps, I had no drugs in my system by the time he was coming, the midwife didn't have time to give me the epidural I wanted so I had to make do.
Charlie is wonderful, he is 2 years old now, I am applying for him to start nursery as he needs to socialize with other children his own age, he is a wonderful big brother, we have only had a couple of incidents with Charlie hurting Harry, nothing major just Charlie not been careful enough.
I don't know if I have ever pointed out in previous posts but it has come to my attention and it is something I care to share, I met Joel on Friday 19th June 2009, I had Charlie on Friday 3rd September 2010 and Harry came on Friday 12th October 2012. I now call my boys my 3 Fridays. I find it very bizarre that Friday seems to be my lucky day, especially when I think about the fact that Charlie was 8 days late and Harry 3 days early, it feels like fate had this one dealt for me.
Joel and I are planning to get married 10th of June 2015, we naturally picked this date as we wanted to mark the day as our lucky day, so the 10th of June 2015 is....... you guessed it........ a Friday. I can not wait to finally marry Joel though I am a little apprehensive at becoming "Mrs Grainger".
I have had more downs than I have had ups these last few weeks, it all started when I found out (not for the first time) that my own sister had been saying things about me and my boys behind my back, I am so sick of people talking behind my back, I mean get real, if you have a problem with me then tell me, don't spread crap because that just makes you a 2 faced back stabber!! Anyway she had told someone that I do not bath my boys, as when she puts them in the bath they scream and create, it might not seem bad to a lot of you but that to me was down right horrible, not to mention a lie, naturally this someone informed me that this had been said, so I confronted my sister, a massive blazing row occurred over the whole event and I ended up saying some things that probably shouldn't have been said, I am not going in to what I said to her as I said it in the heat of an argument, know that what I said was rather harsh but not as harsh as what she did to me, you see my logic is this, Shelley went spreading lies to other people behind my back, now if this person that told me had phoned social services instead of saying something to me then I would have been monitored by the social workers, I have nothing to hide so that wouldn't bother me, what bothers me is that my own sister could have been the cause and personally there is no going back from that, even though I should not have said false accusations to my sister, I take comfort in the fact that I said them to HER not other people, the problem is, she took it COMPLETELY the wrong way (as blonds do) and twisted it to make me out to be a right evil bitch, I know for FACT that she was telling people that I had said this Extremely horrible thing that I would never ever ever say and going on about all the things I had said (even things I hadn't said which she had pulled out of thin air) but not once did she tell any of them what she had done to me.
I had her best friend send me emails bitching and having a go at me when she only had one side of the story, she was not interested in anything I said, she just wanted to insult me despite that what she thought was true wasn't! My mum, bless her, stayed neutral through the whole thing, she never took sides, she kind of did make it about her self by telling us that we are depressing her further by not talking to one and other but I was not going to say sorry for Shelley spreading untrue stories and lies and twisting things to make her sound the victim in the whole incident, I am not even going to sit here and let people think I am a victim, yes I was wronged but I also was in the wrong by saying certain things that shouldn't have been said, even if they are true its not my place to interfere, the fact that Shelley took things completely the wrong way by what I said is not my fault, I tried really hard to explain to her that what she THOUGHT I said was not what I said and I certainly did not intend on her taking things that way but I gave her the shot gun didn't I, because she took what I said the wrong way she had everyone eating out the palms of her hands!
This incident made Shelley delete me as a friend on Facebook, she declined my wedding invite, my Ann Summers invite and Joel's 30th birthday invite, she also removed Joel as a friend on Facebook too!
Because she had done this to me, I told her to plan her own baby shower, why in gods green earth should I do something for someone like that, I mean I was giving up my home, I would have been left with all the cleaning, the planning, the shopping and the decorating why should I, so in return she cancelled the shower as I had created it originally and could not be removed and she recreated it without inviting me. (By the way Shelley is pregnant with twin boys)
Eventually, slowly, we started talking again, both avoiding talking about the fall out, but still I got no invite to the baby shower, I don't know if I can trust her any more, as I stated earlier this one was not the first time she had spread crap behind my back, I may not be a perfect mum but I am a bloody good one, I do everything I can for my boys and more, I could not do any better if I tried.
Oh bloody hell, as usual when I get on here time flies away with me its going on 5am so I best be off to bed. will finish of my story telling tomorrow evening, not that it matters as I said in the beginning, its not like I have people sat there biting their nails waiting to see what I write. LOL.
Night Night Bloggers.x
Monday, 9 April 2012
Being Deaf.........
Some people forget about deafness, Take me for instance, I am deaf in my left ear, you wouldnt think it too look at me, here lies the problem, just because you can not see a problem in front of you does not mean it aint there.
Talking about my deafness was brought to my attention a couple of days ago, I recently started talking to another lady that is also deaf and it dawned on me that I never talk about my deafness, I never get asked about it so I never talk about it, the people around me do make fun of me when I mis heard what they had said to me, I always thought yea that bothers me but oh well and I quickly just dropped it but now (I don't know if it my emotions being all stupid from the pregnancy) but now I feel like crap, I feel like people should care and ask me questions on how being deaf makes me feel, ask me how I feel when they make fun of me, I am not stupid, I know they do not mean no harm by it but consider in the fact I am a very sensitive person any ways, I just wish people would stop and think some times.
So I wrote a poem today, hope it helps people to understand that not everyone is what they seem :-) but it does not mean they aint as good as everyone else :-).........................
Speak louder, speak slower.
Excuse me? Pardon me?
I couldn’t hear you,
I didn’t hear what you said,
I don’t understand.
Talking about my deafness was brought to my attention a couple of days ago, I recently started talking to another lady that is also deaf and it dawned on me that I never talk about my deafness, I never get asked about it so I never talk about it, the people around me do make fun of me when I mis heard what they had said to me, I always thought yea that bothers me but oh well and I quickly just dropped it but now (I don't know if it my emotions being all stupid from the pregnancy) but now I feel like crap, I feel like people should care and ask me questions on how being deaf makes me feel, ask me how I feel when they make fun of me, I am not stupid, I know they do not mean no harm by it but consider in the fact I am a very sensitive person any ways, I just wish people would stop and think some times.
So I wrote a poem today, hope it helps people to understand that not everyone is what they seem :-) but it does not mean they aint as good as everyone else :-).........................
Huh? Hmm? Eh? What?
Give that another shot.
I missed what you said.
Please repeat.
I didn’t get that.
I beg your pardon, say that again.
Give that another shot.
I missed what you said.
Please repeat.
I didn’t get that.
I beg your pardon, say that again.
Speak louder, speak slower.
Excuse me? Pardon me?
I couldn’t hear you,
I didn’t hear what you said,
I don’t understand.
I’m sorry, run that by me again.
When will you learn,
When will you care,
When will it sink in,
When will you see,
When will you know
How much your hurting me.
When will you realise
That I can not
hear you,
You need to speak louder,
You need to speak clearer,
I need you to face me,
So I don’t miss hear you.
Please don’t laugh,
Please don’t make fun,
I can’t help this,
It makes me glum,
Please be respectful, honest and true,
This is all I’ll ever ask from you.
Wednesday, 14 March 2012
At Long Last.....
Well my saying I'll post at least once a week didnt pan out but in fairness to me I have been really busy, Joel and I finally got a house so we have been moving and we only got the internet put on yesturday so I do have a valid excuse hahaha.
Alot has happened (as it tends to when I do not report on here often), on the 14th of Feb I found out I am pregnant with our second Baby, Joel and I are excited though the following weeks from finding out have been horrible, I am suffering quite bad with sickness and tiredness with this pregnancy.
Charlie has been really hard work too which has not helped me at all.
Moving in to the new house was really good, Joel and Chris did all the work while I basically sat on my butt and made the brews and did a little bit of unpacking.
Since moving in to this house I have not had hardly any energy to do anything, I know it annoys people that I don't make an effort but right now I couldn't care less, I feel like crap so I'm not going to run around everywere and do everything everyone wants me to do!
Today Charlie has just been so much hard work, he has been really clingy and screaming and crying all day, he has been driving me around the bend. I noticed yesturday whilst changing him that his tummy and back is covered in tiny red spots, I did the glass check and thats all fine so I called on a few people and they all said the same thing, Chicken pox, What gets me is that it is only on his tummy and back so I am not too sure, I don't know if his mood is attached to these spots but I have had just about enough of his mood today.
Any who I am too stressed out to type any more now so now I'm back online I can post often again.x
Night people.x
Alot has happened (as it tends to when I do not report on here often), on the 14th of Feb I found out I am pregnant with our second Baby, Joel and I are excited though the following weeks from finding out have been horrible, I am suffering quite bad with sickness and tiredness with this pregnancy.
Charlie has been really hard work too which has not helped me at all.
Moving in to the new house was really good, Joel and Chris did all the work while I basically sat on my butt and made the brews and did a little bit of unpacking.
Since moving in to this house I have not had hardly any energy to do anything, I know it annoys people that I don't make an effort but right now I couldn't care less, I feel like crap so I'm not going to run around everywere and do everything everyone wants me to do!
Today Charlie has just been so much hard work, he has been really clingy and screaming and crying all day, he has been driving me around the bend. I noticed yesturday whilst changing him that his tummy and back is covered in tiny red spots, I did the glass check and thats all fine so I called on a few people and they all said the same thing, Chicken pox, What gets me is that it is only on his tummy and back so I am not too sure, I don't know if his mood is attached to these spots but I have had just about enough of his mood today.
Any who I am too stressed out to type any more now so now I'm back online I can post often again.x
Night people.x
Monday, 6 February 2012
Screw This for a Lump of Lard....
These last few days have been horrendous, Lets start from Friday shall we...
Friday: all in all was a good day, had a nice quite day / night, Charlie went off to stay with his Grandad Keith, Joel and I went to do a few bits that needed doing before we went up to Sam's house for a few drinks which I really had a good night there, Sam was wonderful to talk to and bought a pizza for her and I to share which was really nice of her.
Joel Also phoned Manningham Housing AGAIN this day and they said they will be making the decisions start of to mid this week so hopefully we are still in with a chance.
Saturday: I woke to some really sad news from my sister, I was aware that my mum had been trying to ring me but at 10am on a Saturday morning after a night of drinking wine I was not ready to wake, that was until my sister text me soon after my mum had tried ringing me, Joel read the text which said and I quote "have you heard about Rory's dad, he passed away suddenly yesterday" Joel told me what the text said and me blurry eyed and still abit worse for wear went "your f**kin joking" I grabbed the phone and rang my mum who confirmed it (for those unaware, Rory is my mums boyfriend), I was heartbroken, I could not stop crying, More for Rory than Ian (Rory's dad) I got on really well with Ian and I certainly thought a lot of him but I did not know him long enough to actually know him, it is hard for me to believe that Ian and I was talking on facebook just a couple of days before.
Later that day I went up to see Rory and my Mum, took up a card and a box of chocolates (I've never had a death so close to me before so I didn't know what to do) Rory was in a right state, this is when I found out that it was around 6pm on the Friday evening that Ian died suddenly (we think heart attack) Rory and mum and left a half hour (ish) before this happened, and had just gotten home and put the fish and chips in the oven to warm up when they got the call, Josh (11 years old and Rory's little brother) had been sitting down to tea with Ian when Ian suddenly fell to the floor, poor Josh phoned for an ambulance and they talked him through how to do CPR on his dad, when the paramedics arrived Josh (bear in mind he is 11 years old) phoned his mum who came down and who then phone Rory who then went down too, it was just so sudden.
I still am struggling to get my head around the whole situation, I do not know who to process the fact that some one can die so suddenly and it scares me so much as my grandad is really ill and I am petrified that someone is going to be ringing me about him next.
Sunday: was a fairly quite day, I got up to utter piece and quite, Chris had taken Charlie to town, Joel had made me a nice cuppa and a cig, it was blissfully quite, for 20 Min's, then they came home, Charlie was all happy that he got to walk around rather than be pushed around in his pram. They had been back from town for a good half hour or so when Chris got up and pulled and Argos bag out from under the pram and passed it to me, I looked blankly at him thinking why have you passed me your shopping, he said open it, so I did, inside the bag was a Kindle E Reader, I was ecstatic, so happy, I actually said "OMG you never did" hahaha I can not believe he had gone out and bought me a Kindle, they are expensive at £90!
I went round to see Claire and David it was fairly late but I went for a cuppa to show off my new Kindle, David's friend Scott is staying there AGAIN and he was rather mean to me, he was really rude and I was annoyed that no one stuck up for me, I come home complaining to Joel about the attitude I got from both Scott and David while I was there, I asked for a second brew and Dave said no your going home and I said well I have come round to see my best mate next time shall I not bother and wait for her to come see me and Dave said yes that would be most appreciated, I was so angry and felt so unwelcome by my own brother and Claire did not say anything to him about him talking to me like that and she is supposed to be my mate!
Monday: it has been an eventful day today, Charlie has been hard work towards me all weekend and today was no different, he has been a little shit, I know that is an awful thing to say about my little lad but he has, with everyone else around him he has been all hugs and smiles but me, he has been horrible, smacking me, screaming at me and playing up so much so I had to go and sit in the kitchen just so he would be good, it breaks my heart when he acts like this towards me as I am the one that feeds him, changes him, puts him to bed and sings songs to him before I lay him down, yes I do tell him off more than anyone else which wont help my case, especially when I am been contradicted over everything I do with him but no one stands by me and says "hang on a minute, she is his mother, it is her right to tell him off and no one give him cuddles after or pays him attention or tells him she is a mean mummy" so on and so forth but no as per I am the one left to be the bad guy, the one that punishes for no apparent reason!
Claire rang me today to ask me if she could leave her House key with me so Scott could get in to her house after he finished work as her and Dave were going out, I was in town so I couldn't do it but now sat here typing up my weekend I am Glad I couldn't (sorry Claire if you read this) but after the way I was spoken to last night I feel why should I do a favour when I have not even had an apology from anyone about it, it was bang out of order and uncalled for, people wonder why I avoid my family like the plague, well now you know why!
It has taken me 3 and a half hours (as Charlie goes to bed at 9pm) to get the little sod to sleep, I am physically and emotionally drained after such a horrible weekend, I need a Holiday!
Going now to do my facebook games before I go to bed.x
Night.x
Friday: all in all was a good day, had a nice quite day / night, Charlie went off to stay with his Grandad Keith, Joel and I went to do a few bits that needed doing before we went up to Sam's house for a few drinks which I really had a good night there, Sam was wonderful to talk to and bought a pizza for her and I to share which was really nice of her.
Joel Also phoned Manningham Housing AGAIN this day and they said they will be making the decisions start of to mid this week so hopefully we are still in with a chance.
Saturday: I woke to some really sad news from my sister, I was aware that my mum had been trying to ring me but at 10am on a Saturday morning after a night of drinking wine I was not ready to wake, that was until my sister text me soon after my mum had tried ringing me, Joel read the text which said and I quote "have you heard about Rory's dad, he passed away suddenly yesterday" Joel told me what the text said and me blurry eyed and still abit worse for wear went "your f**kin joking" I grabbed the phone and rang my mum who confirmed it (for those unaware, Rory is my mums boyfriend), I was heartbroken, I could not stop crying, More for Rory than Ian (Rory's dad) I got on really well with Ian and I certainly thought a lot of him but I did not know him long enough to actually know him, it is hard for me to believe that Ian and I was talking on facebook just a couple of days before.
Later that day I went up to see Rory and my Mum, took up a card and a box of chocolates (I've never had a death so close to me before so I didn't know what to do) Rory was in a right state, this is when I found out that it was around 6pm on the Friday evening that Ian died suddenly (we think heart attack) Rory and mum and left a half hour (ish) before this happened, and had just gotten home and put the fish and chips in the oven to warm up when they got the call, Josh (11 years old and Rory's little brother) had been sitting down to tea with Ian when Ian suddenly fell to the floor, poor Josh phoned for an ambulance and they talked him through how to do CPR on his dad, when the paramedics arrived Josh (bear in mind he is 11 years old) phoned his mum who came down and who then phone Rory who then went down too, it was just so sudden.
I still am struggling to get my head around the whole situation, I do not know who to process the fact that some one can die so suddenly and it scares me so much as my grandad is really ill and I am petrified that someone is going to be ringing me about him next.
Sunday: was a fairly quite day, I got up to utter piece and quite, Chris had taken Charlie to town, Joel had made me a nice cuppa and a cig, it was blissfully quite, for 20 Min's, then they came home, Charlie was all happy that he got to walk around rather than be pushed around in his pram. They had been back from town for a good half hour or so when Chris got up and pulled and Argos bag out from under the pram and passed it to me, I looked blankly at him thinking why have you passed me your shopping, he said open it, so I did, inside the bag was a Kindle E Reader, I was ecstatic, so happy, I actually said "OMG you never did" hahaha I can not believe he had gone out and bought me a Kindle, they are expensive at £90!
I went round to see Claire and David it was fairly late but I went for a cuppa to show off my new Kindle, David's friend Scott is staying there AGAIN and he was rather mean to me, he was really rude and I was annoyed that no one stuck up for me, I come home complaining to Joel about the attitude I got from both Scott and David while I was there, I asked for a second brew and Dave said no your going home and I said well I have come round to see my best mate next time shall I not bother and wait for her to come see me and Dave said yes that would be most appreciated, I was so angry and felt so unwelcome by my own brother and Claire did not say anything to him about him talking to me like that and she is supposed to be my mate!
Monday: it has been an eventful day today, Charlie has been hard work towards me all weekend and today was no different, he has been a little shit, I know that is an awful thing to say about my little lad but he has, with everyone else around him he has been all hugs and smiles but me, he has been horrible, smacking me, screaming at me and playing up so much so I had to go and sit in the kitchen just so he would be good, it breaks my heart when he acts like this towards me as I am the one that feeds him, changes him, puts him to bed and sings songs to him before I lay him down, yes I do tell him off more than anyone else which wont help my case, especially when I am been contradicted over everything I do with him but no one stands by me and says "hang on a minute, she is his mother, it is her right to tell him off and no one give him cuddles after or pays him attention or tells him she is a mean mummy" so on and so forth but no as per I am the one left to be the bad guy, the one that punishes for no apparent reason!
Claire rang me today to ask me if she could leave her House key with me so Scott could get in to her house after he finished work as her and Dave were going out, I was in town so I couldn't do it but now sat here typing up my weekend I am Glad I couldn't (sorry Claire if you read this) but after the way I was spoken to last night I feel why should I do a favour when I have not even had an apology from anyone about it, it was bang out of order and uncalled for, people wonder why I avoid my family like the plague, well now you know why!
It has taken me 3 and a half hours (as Charlie goes to bed at 9pm) to get the little sod to sleep, I am physically and emotionally drained after such a horrible weekend, I need a Holiday!
Going now to do my facebook games before I go to bed.x
Night.x
Wednesday, 1 February 2012
What a great day.......
Today has been an excellent day, Charlie has made us all laugh with his face pulling, he is such a beautiful little boy, I woke up this morning and came downstairs to find that Joel and Chris had cut Charlies hair, no more curls, on the plus side at least he looks like a little boy now hahaha, Charlie has been very windy haha burping and trumping all over the place, every time he burped I called him a piggy monster and today he started spinning round in a circle saying "puddy" meaning of course "piggy" lol, he has just recently started the whole spinning thing in the last couple of days, I have no idea were he has picked it up from but it is very cute and I can not help but laugh at him when he spins too much and falls on his bum lol.
Joel and I have been getting on loads better, I love him so much and I always will, he is my rock and I do not know what I would do without him, tonight I was jabbing him in the sides and in his man boobs (hahahaha moobs) and he says to me "whats with all the violence" me been me said it out right "I am trying to get some attention" hahaha so that was it he started saying attention hey is that what you want and he pulled me over his knees and lifted up my top slightly and started blowing raspberries on my tummy and tickling me, I couldn't breath with laughter, it went on from there with play fighting and tickling and me been weired and pretending to suck on his nipples (over his t-shirt) and making slurping noises hahaha he says I'm a strange creature hahahaha gorra love him though, I have not laughed so hard in a while so it has made my day.
Still no word on housing front but I do not wanna depress my self so i wont go to much in to it because I'm on a high at the minute.x
I have had a fair few quite periods today too which has been lovely, Chris and Joel went to Asda for some bits of food and Charlie was in bed so I enjoyed the piece and quite for a while, and again later Joel went up for a nap and Chris went to his room to listen to his music so it was me and Charlie downstairs, Charlie was a blessing, he was watching the Disney Junior channel (his fave channel) and he had seen me get up to get his blanket so I could lay on sofa and wrap up as I was a bit cold, he comes trotting over to me and tries pulling his blanket from me so I lifted him up and tucked him up to me under the blanket and we laid there watching Mickey Mouse Club House and Special Agent Oso, it is the first time that he has come to lay with me for a long period of time, I was chuffed to bits he stayed there for 45 minutes just stroking my face while watching telly with me, bear in mind he is 17 months old in 2 days lol.x
I love my Charlie to bits, Joel and Charlie are the best things ever to happen to me, I am so proud of both of them and look forward to many more happy years with them.x
Good night for now.xx xx
Joel and I have been getting on loads better, I love him so much and I always will, he is my rock and I do not know what I would do without him, tonight I was jabbing him in the sides and in his man boobs (hahahaha moobs) and he says to me "whats with all the violence" me been me said it out right "I am trying to get some attention" hahaha so that was it he started saying attention hey is that what you want and he pulled me over his knees and lifted up my top slightly and started blowing raspberries on my tummy and tickling me, I couldn't breath with laughter, it went on from there with play fighting and tickling and me been weired and pretending to suck on his nipples (over his t-shirt) and making slurping noises hahaha he says I'm a strange creature hahahaha gorra love him though, I have not laughed so hard in a while so it has made my day.
Still no word on housing front but I do not wanna depress my self so i wont go to much in to it because I'm on a high at the minute.x
I have had a fair few quite periods today too which has been lovely, Chris and Joel went to Asda for some bits of food and Charlie was in bed so I enjoyed the piece and quite for a while, and again later Joel went up for a nap and Chris went to his room to listen to his music so it was me and Charlie downstairs, Charlie was a blessing, he was watching the Disney Junior channel (his fave channel) and he had seen me get up to get his blanket so I could lay on sofa and wrap up as I was a bit cold, he comes trotting over to me and tries pulling his blanket from me so I lifted him up and tucked him up to me under the blanket and we laid there watching Mickey Mouse Club House and Special Agent Oso, it is the first time that he has come to lay with me for a long period of time, I was chuffed to bits he stayed there for 45 minutes just stroking my face while watching telly with me, bear in mind he is 17 months old in 2 days lol.x
I love my Charlie to bits, Joel and Charlie are the best things ever to happen to me, I am so proud of both of them and look forward to many more happy years with them.x
Good night for now.xx xx
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