Aaaarrrgggggghhhhhhhhh

Today has been rather a difficult day, my little man has been a real nightmare, he has been constantly screaming, hitting and playing up big time, I have put him to bed an hour early tonight as he was starting to do my head in, I know this is awful to say as he is only 16 months old but I have just had enough for today.

He went with his Auntie Fran for a few hours today as his Grandad has just got back from Australia from a 3 and a half week holiday so she took Charlie with her to pick Keith up from the airport, Charlie apparently created badly with her too so it made me all the more annoyed and to top it off he didn't eat any breakfast or dinner but thankfully ate plenty of tea.

He created so bad with getting dressed this morning to having his bum changed through out the day and getting in to his PJ's this evening, So much creation has created in him getting a tap on the legs from Auntie Fran as Charlie persisted on kicking her all the time.

I can not wait for him to get of this temper tantrum stage as it is driving me mad and I have had enough, people keep telling me to ignore him and keep calm when he gets like that but any mother will know that this is rather difficult to do. I do try my best to ignore him but it makes me hurt inside to listen to him scream the way he does and also makes me mad that he screams so badly when no one has done anything to make him scream!

I hope tomorrow will be a better day regarding Charlie!

On an other note Charlie appeared in Pick Me Up magazine a while back and won the sleeping cuties competition, I'm happy to report after many emails of complaints to them I finally received the prize money of £50 in form of a cheque last week so I will be cashing that in on Monday so I am happy about that.

I went to see my mate yesterday, she is having a lot of bad luck at the minute with really bad tooth ache and been disrespected in her own home by her Fiance (which I'm ashamed to admit that he is my brother on occasion). I wish things would go right for her for once so that she can get back to her old happy self as it is rather depressing and upsetting to see her this way.

I can not wait to get my own home as I am sick of living with a house full of people and having to clean up all the disgusting things I keep finding, it is not my responsibility to be doing such jobs and I resent doing it. I am extremely grateful to be given a roof over my head, Chris has been a fantastic friend to us by putting us up and giving up his bedroom for us, he has put him self out so much for us so I don't like to grumble but I only have 1 son not 4. Also when it concerns my son it should be my responsibility to deal with him how I see fit but I don't even have that option.

I hope we have a bit of good luck in the near future when it concerns getting reholmed because I really am at the end of my tether with all of this, I feel like I am going back in to depression and I certainly do not want to go there as it took me a hell of a lot of effort trying to get out of it, I still struggle from time to time with my depression and I take it out on Joel, I am so flipping lucky to have such a sexy, wonderful, caring man in my life that supports me and understands my struggles with my self and my struggles that I seem to be developing regarding raising Charlie correctly. I really do not know what I would do with out Joel, he is my rock and my world.

I think I'll leave now and stop boring you all with my nonsense rambling!